The Science Of TGG

Jaakko's Theorem : Being shot at is good as it successfully draws away enemy fire.

Vesa's Corollary to Jaakko's Theorem: Machineguns kill.

The Turk's Law: The losers of two world wars actually had every advantage.

Vaclav's Hypothesis: Being on the losing side of history can be countered with iron discipline.

Erkki's Paradox: Those without orders demand them. Those with orders, ignore them.

Luukas' Corollary to the Erkki Paradox: Commanding is best done when isolated on a flank.

Pith's Law: Being 35 miles behind the front line is no guarantor of safety.

The Sniper Obfuscation: Sniping declared ability has an inverse relationship with sniping actual ability.

The Viking's Declaration: Kill them all, and glory to the brave.

Samantha's Law: Nurses only die if they are in love.

Wallace's Law: Soldiers only survive the war if their true love has been carbonised to ash by Fritz's flamethrower within line of sight.

Toure's Paradox: The better the starting XP, the lower the lifespan.

Janoslaw's Dilemma : If you never take a wound that isn't fatal, you'll never be recuperating in hospital and be in action more frequently.

Topi's Hypothesis: It's perfectly OK to go into battle when you should be in a hospital bed, as half severed limbs and collapsed lungs are mere flesh wounds.

Emerson's Corollary: War kills. Again. And again. And again. And aga…

Turk's Rule: It's more PC to talk shit about a Turk then a Yank.

Lesina's Proposal: Many things are dangerous, angry medics are deadly.

Asche's Revenge: Hand wounds. Many of them. Get one and they keep coming.

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