Novikova S Letter

Dear Mother and Father,

I hope you're well. It's no one's fault that in the mix up, I was left here. I hope whomever got my spot made it okay. It's really not so bad here, the company makes it worth it and /someone/ had to stay it seems. I even met up with cousin Elise. I have to say that I feel for her a lot more than most people, it's been rough with all this talk against the Germans. I think I'd sock anyone who tells that to her face. You don't get to pick where you are born you know?
All that aside, I really do miss university! I think I like growing things a lot more than fighting. They have me work with explosives these days. Is that why boys don't talk to me? I thought the possibility of bursting into flames drove men mad. All jokes aside - it's really not too bad. I'm busy on and off. I at least get to stay with people I know. I do miss baths the most though. I feel as if I could roll around in bleach and still not come clean.
Although, I think I have a crush on someone. It strikes me as horribly silly and illogical, given I may never see him again and that I sincerely doubt he knows I exist beyond 'that girl who gets shot sometimes'. I think I am a senseless creature at best, but I can't not blush around him and wonder how warm it is to hug the guy. Sappy and awful isn't it? I could die at any given moment and /this/ is what my brain settles on. Not some great philosophical or patriotic thought. No. But a part of me wants to keep that warmth, even if I know it's not likely to last. One of us could die or we could just simply never see one another again. The cold chill of the truth always brings me back and it's a struggle between logic and 'aw'. I can't find a better word for it - and I seem to be running out of paper. Be safe, and I hope Grandmother is alright.
Love,
Zoya

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